Well I will tell you, as I was walking though Asda in Southampton a 12-year-old lop sided pony l tailed, chain smoking , inbred mother with rainbow coloured children ran straight in to me in with a double pram . It seemed to me as I hobbled away that if you have a pram it is a licence to do whatever you want! No sorry, just run people over. Not that I mind running people down, I have often mused over knocking down a traffic warden or the odd pole . Public service  I would  call it. I dont think pc plod is going to look at it that way though. Back to rainbow bright and her sprites, I looked on in dismay as she went on to knock over a display stand and an old woman who was walking with sticks, which seeme a bit ironic, as you usually  find such old people in a supped up wide wheeled death buggy, aiming  their way down the high street. I say aiming because they lose all sence of road safety  as soon as they sit aboard. How any times have you been walking along town streets all over the country and met a lady with an arse so large, it should have its own area code, on one of these contraptions. Come on you must have a driving licence for a car and children do a cycling proficient test yet they let any ladies with a blue rinse or any short sighted chap, way past his sell by date on a battery operated wrinkly charriot.

As I hobbled and dodged my way though hordes of rude, pram whilding under aged mothers along with urine smelling coffin dodgers, I had an idea. Yes all on my own this idea came and I was quite proud of it.  Bearing in mind my ankle was killing me and blue rinses aim was getting better! My idea…. why not send them to Iraq! I challenge any terrorist, to get away from from troops of upset, ill speaking,  inbred 12-year-old mothers and pavement hogging piss smelling old men and women.

Besides, the  weapons of mass distruction that the yankie wide mouthed, scare crow (no brains) red neck ex-president was looking for were not in Iraq, oh no, these weapons can be found in asda in the shape of Chardonay-Stapler and Ivy Jones on any given Saturday !